Once was very happy.
The same girl cries a lot now.
Who did this to her?
They say, she killed her happiness.
Why would she?
She is crazy.
What drove her crazy?
She did this to herself.
Weird, she seems stupid.
Yes, she does.
But why?
Who knows.
Once she was known as the happiest-go-luckiest girl.
Her teacher was tired of her always laughing.
Annoyingly he'd say, you don't care where you sit, you will always laugh, right?
Happily, she'd say, yes, sir! I am always happy.
I make my own happiness.
How? they'd ask.
Just like this! She'd shrug.
It was easy for her to be happy.
Her classmates called her "Kittenish".
Who laughs the most, cries the most too, they'd tell her.
Nah, I won't. Proudly she'd say. Believing in her fate, in her God, in herself. I'll always laugh like this.
Then she fell in love.
With this calm, great guy, I must say.
He was so beautiful. She used to think about him all the time.
He had this infectious smile and chameleon eyes.
It was hard to not stare at him.
Make him mine, she whispered to God.
And how lucky was she, they started talking, flirting, dating.
They got married. Is it her happily ever after?
It should be. It's all she ever wanted, she ever prayed for.
He is nice, composed, kind, respects her family, an amazing husband.
He'd bring her breakfast on her bed.
Wow, is it a dream come true?
It is, right?
Days passed, she was happy, so happy.
And then the love starts fading away.
Bitterness made a home in their hearts.
He started hating her.
He'd call her names, disrespect her family, belittle her dreams, abuse her.
But what changed? Cause she didn't.
She was still the same.
Always laughing, making cute scenarios in her head, expecting the same love.
He started hurting her.
It just grew every second day.
She started crying. It seems it was easy to make her cry.
He'd call her a crybaby, messed-up girl, depraved, corrupted, lazy, stupid, psycho. But why?
You haven't changed at all, he'd say.
But isn't that the same person you said you love?
She'd cry.
She'd cry for hours.
Wishing death for herself.
She'd cry in pain until her heart starts hurting, and it is hard for her to breathe.
Until her vision gets blurry, her head starts thumping.
She'd pray, please grant me happiness. I want to be happy.
You should be happy, he'd say.
Why nothing makes you happy?
Why are you so ungrateful?
Calling her out, stopping her, caging her, he'd want her to comply with him.
She is a bad wife, his mom would add.
Women should always listen and never complain or cry. I'd never cry, she'd add.
Her mom would advise her to be calm, and ignore, and try to stay happy.
His mom would say the same.
Try!
And she'd whisper, you try when it's hard. Or you do.
I want to be happy like I was before.
I don't want to be hurt.
I don't want to cry.
I don't want my heart to weaken.
I don't want my head to explode.
I want to love him again but how.
I want to be the happy-go-lucky girl again.
I want to be the reason for their smiles.
But God, my God, I can't. Even when I try.
I can't fake it.
I can't try to be happy until I am.
I want to be happy but I can't.
Make it easy for me, my Lord.
Or take me to hereafter, to my father, and remove this curse.
She was that spoiled child. Her father spoiled her.
Her mother spoiled her.
For God's sake, her younger siblings spoiled her.
They'd love her so much, so unconditionally.
They'd always take care of her.
Always preferred her happiness over everything.
Somehow she was always their favorite.
Her mom would call her every time she had good news. She still does.
Her father would tell her how proud he is to be her father. Is he still?
Her brother would run to her to confide in her.
Her sister would cry on her shoulder every time she is a little too sad or scared.
They'd always love her, prioritize her, celebrate her existence.
They'd never call her words.
They'd make her happy.
She won't have to try. She was genuinely happy at her home.
Now, she is not home anymore.
She is not happy.
She doesn't need to try.
She needs to get back to her home.
And everything will be fine.
She'll learn to be happy again.
She'd naturally be happy again.
She won't have to scream inside her head for all of this to get over.
She'd be with her people.
She'd be home.
She'd be happy.
Very happy.
Like always.
Take her home.
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