He was not ordinary, he never was. He was beautiful, he was charismatic, he was pretty, he was cute, intelligent, smart, he was clever, he was everything good, he was perfect, the only thing that he was not; he wasn't ordinary.
I, never for a second, had imagined me falling for him, yet I fell in love with him so earnestly, oh - so tragically. And worse was that I kept falling, I never stopped. After all these years, I can promise about it and I am not lying, I am certainly not lying, that I still find myself falling for him, even today, even now, even after everything.
How I perceived him, he was solemn, he was observant, he was quiet most of the times but I can assure you that, his mind was a mess. He hardly spoke, he rarely took part in discussions, yet I knew his mind was always screaming, spitting ideas, concluding things, interpreting solutions, struggling, working, panicking, but never quiet.
He was different, a lot. When everyone was laughing at some lame joke our teacher cracked, he would not even smile. When all the students were tensed before the examination, he was always calm. Everybody is excited for the upcoming picnic or party or any event, then there was him - not caring. He was mysterious. I used to wonder about it all the time, what was inside that mind, what was he thinking and why, what made him so divergent, what muted him, why would he barely smile and didn't express his feelings or emotions.
I used to think how would it feel to see him laughing out loud, or how would he look like when he is excited about something, or when he is talking passionately about his dreams, his goals, his likes, dislikes.
I remember that day, I saw him quite closely. I entered our classroom and he was sitting on the chair right next to the door. I was laughing, like really loud, I was telling something to my friend and I was carefree and happy, and then I saw him. I stepped in the class and he stood up from his chair, we were really close to each other. We didn't touch, we didn't collide, we were just close, a lot. I was laughing, I was happy, I was carefree and then I saw him, standing very near to me, I looked into his eyes, and I was doomed.
I looked into his eyes and he stared back at me, just for a second, for a very precise moment, yet I knew I was screwed. It seemed like everything was floating, everybody has gone quiet, all the things have vanished, it was just him and me, just us.
His eyes were brown, chameleon brown, beautifully brown. His mouth was straight, he didn't utter a word - not a single word, he didn't even sigh, but his eyes - they spoke. His eyes spoke to me. Call me crazy or insane or whatever you want, believe it or not, but it's true - his eyes spoke to me.
I saw his pupils dilating. He quirked a little. He was quiet and his closeness drove me shushed. I always thought he was not the kind of person to express his feelings, to talk about what was bothering him or what was enticing him, to show his thinking, to unleash his mind, yet in that moment he spoke to me, not through his mouth, but eyes. He talked to me, he screamed, he was loud, he was clear, he was meaningful. He told me he felt the same way, I promise, he did. And with that my heart skipped a beat, my pulse elevated and it felt like he has got me wings with which I was flying.
He showed me his feelings one second through his beautifully brown eyes, and then he rebuked me through them the next. Now he was looking at me with chiding in his eyes like he was constrained, he was caged. He was staring at me with anger, with agony, with annoyance, like I had tried to imprison him. I felt startled, I was amazed how his eyes changed. I was surprised, mouth opened wide in astonishment, I was still looking at him. He stepped back and took his chair. My friends were still laughing, one of them pushed me and asked me to move. I did that, I moved aside, I took my chair and sat down.
I was still thinking about him, and how he has those beautiful eyes, and how his eyes possessed the attribute of changing color with time and that - how his heart changed with them too.
I realized - he is gorgeous, he has beautiful eyes, and that he too has feelings, but more than that there is something he is hiding, something not beautiful, something tragic, something that has scared him, something through which he has scared me too.
I, never for a second, had imagined me falling for him, yet I fell in love with him so earnestly, oh - so tragically. And worse was that I kept falling, I never stopped. After all these years, I can promise about it and I am not lying, I am certainly not lying, that I still find myself falling for him, even today, even now, even after everything.
How I perceived him, he was solemn, he was observant, he was quiet most of the times but I can assure you that, his mind was a mess. He hardly spoke, he rarely took part in discussions, yet I knew his mind was always screaming, spitting ideas, concluding things, interpreting solutions, struggling, working, panicking, but never quiet.
He was different, a lot. When everyone was laughing at some lame joke our teacher cracked, he would not even smile. When all the students were tensed before the examination, he was always calm. Everybody is excited for the upcoming picnic or party or any event, then there was him - not caring. He was mysterious. I used to wonder about it all the time, what was inside that mind, what was he thinking and why, what made him so divergent, what muted him, why would he barely smile and didn't express his feelings or emotions.
I used to think how would it feel to see him laughing out loud, or how would he look like when he is excited about something, or when he is talking passionately about his dreams, his goals, his likes, dislikes.
I remember that day, I saw him quite closely. I entered our classroom and he was sitting on the chair right next to the door. I was laughing, like really loud, I was telling something to my friend and I was carefree and happy, and then I saw him. I stepped in the class and he stood up from his chair, we were really close to each other. We didn't touch, we didn't collide, we were just close, a lot. I was laughing, I was happy, I was carefree and then I saw him, standing very near to me, I looked into his eyes, and I was doomed.
I looked into his eyes and he stared back at me, just for a second, for a very precise moment, yet I knew I was screwed. It seemed like everything was floating, everybody has gone quiet, all the things have vanished, it was just him and me, just us.
His eyes were brown, chameleon brown, beautifully brown. His mouth was straight, he didn't utter a word - not a single word, he didn't even sigh, but his eyes - they spoke. His eyes spoke to me. Call me crazy or insane or whatever you want, believe it or not, but it's true - his eyes spoke to me.
I saw his pupils dilating. He quirked a little. He was quiet and his closeness drove me shushed. I always thought he was not the kind of person to express his feelings, to talk about what was bothering him or what was enticing him, to show his thinking, to unleash his mind, yet in that moment he spoke to me, not through his mouth, but eyes. He talked to me, he screamed, he was loud, he was clear, he was meaningful. He told me he felt the same way, I promise, he did. And with that my heart skipped a beat, my pulse elevated and it felt like he has got me wings with which I was flying.
He showed me his feelings one second through his beautifully brown eyes, and then he rebuked me through them the next. Now he was looking at me with chiding in his eyes like he was constrained, he was caged. He was staring at me with anger, with agony, with annoyance, like I had tried to imprison him. I felt startled, I was amazed how his eyes changed. I was surprised, mouth opened wide in astonishment, I was still looking at him. He stepped back and took his chair. My friends were still laughing, one of them pushed me and asked me to move. I did that, I moved aside, I took my chair and sat down.
I was still thinking about him, and how he has those beautiful eyes, and how his eyes possessed the attribute of changing color with time and that - how his heart changed with them too.
I realized - he is gorgeous, he has beautiful eyes, and that he too has feelings, but more than that there is something he is hiding, something not beautiful, something tragic, something that has scared him, something through which he has scared me too.
He was perfect, actually beyond perfect. But there was something mysterious about his chameleon brown eyes that was yet to be known.
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