Skip to main content

I Missed My Lecture

I knew you now, I saw you for the first time that day and I found you to be an ordinary normal guy.

Later that day, when I was walking towards the cafeteria, accompanying my friend, she started talking about you again, how you are so beautiful, so popular. How you have this perfect smile and how you dress so decently. I was smiling, nodding time to time, listening to her.

The time had passed and now I was at home, and all I could do was to think about what she said about you, not you exactly, but what she said you are. I smiled, wondering how someone can fall for anyone like that!?

Following day, we were in class, jotting down the lecture, when you entered the class.

He is always a late comer!

Said she, pointing you. You were still wearing that same Black t.shirt today. You were looking fresh, and good. You sat on the corner right chair of the last row, waving and smiling towards your friend. I was still looking at you, unknowingly, involuntarily. I kept looking at you and minutes passed, she was still talking about you but I wasn't paying attention. All I heard then was murmuring people and confusing noise.

Oh, you stop it now! 

Noticing I am not paying attention, she looked at me for a while and said. I gave her this nervous glance, I was so engrossed in watching you I didn't understand what is she saying.

Stop what?!

I asked nervously.

Stop staring him!?

She replied sarcastically.

Embarrassed of getting caught staring at you, I tried to look normal and replied in a voice hardly above the whisper,

LOL, I'm not staring.

She looked at me shaking her head like she is telling me, see didn't I already warn you about his charm, and then she started penning down her lecture. I was still confused, playing with my pen, I was staring blankly at the board. And I don't want to sound poetic but at that moment, all I saw was flying words, intermixing into each other. All I heard was the gusty sound of chaos. I tried to pay attention but it was not working, I still was not thinking about you, or maybe this time I was not thinking at all. I was blank. 

The class has been finished, our teacher started calling the roll and now he was shouting out my roll number; loud and clear, I didn't hear. My friend shook my shoulder and I anxiously marked my attendance.

Where is your attention, why are you being so absent minded?! Are you sleepy?

My friend asked worriedly. I looked at her, smirked then laughed out loud, I still don't know why I did that, assured her I am fine. She was still looking surprised, she said,

You missed your lecture, you were not marking your attendance and now you're laughing. Of course, not everything is fine.

And I then realized, I had missed my lecture but it didn't matter that time. I looked at her, smiled again and changed the topic, knowing nothing is fine. Nothing will ever be fine. I will never be fine again.

Today, in the same Black t.shirt you wore yesterday, you were not ordinary, and you were for sure not any other guy I saw every day. Today, I missed my lecture and I nearly missed my attendance too, and all because of you. We don't miss lectures for ordinaries. There was something special about you, that I didn't realize then.




Or probably I did. 

I looked at you again this time, without her mentioning you. I looked at you willingly, smiled and looked away.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

To me, you are perfect!

Since then,
When I saw you for the first time, Or the second, or third, or maybe after then too, In your smiles, Your smirks, your quirks, The way you cupped your face in your palms, Or the way you gently brush your hand in your hair, That day when you were all sweaty, tired, with all your hair messed up, Or that time when you were sober, suited booted, In all the things you loved about yourself, And,
In all your insecurities,
That time when your eyes were all red because of sleeplessness,
And then, when you were rubbing them to hide your tears,
In the times, when you were afraid,
And then, when you were bold and courageous and brave,



In your silences,
And even in your whining,
That last time you were too scared to hold my hand,
And then, when you kissed me in public,
In your tensed moments,
While you were struggling and you felt helpless,
And even when I saw you comforting others,
In the way you walk, you run, you hike,
In all the ways you glance, you stare, you gaze,
When you were …

Women are not weak, they are strong, they are precious, they are valuable.

They call us weak, huh?! They say we need them to protect us because we are weak..
She said, annoyingly. She was pissed off. She was angry. She was sad. But what was she sad for? She was sad because she saw a man screaming at his wife on the road, bashing her, abusing her, and most of all because he was calling her weak as she is a woman. And what was more ironic - that she didn't reply him, she didn't fight for herself, rather she accepted what he said - quietly. She was crying in the middle of the road and her husband was not calming down. Many tried to ask him to relax but he was too out of control, he didn't listen. And this all took her in shock - extreme shock.
She was now telling about that incident to her mother. She had always seen her father respecting her mom. She was brought up in a calm, and a very loving family. She has never heard her father shouting on her mom or vice verse.  They were always polite to each other but what she saw today made her learn about …

He was just good at Psychology!

There was nothing about him that I didn't like. He was full of likeliness to be fell for. I was getting more and more into him with every passing day and it was natural, it was involuntary, and it was oh-so-majestically-beautiful. I was falling for him uncontrollably and to be honest I never regretted it.

There was not a single time when I was not thinking about him and this was clearly impossible for me to ignore him. Every time I looked, everywhere I looked - I looked for him. It was him I found my eyes searching for in the crowd of thousands and thousands of people. It was him I wanted to see, I wanted to catch the glimpse of even in the places where he was impossible to found. I found me looking for him in my room, in the middle of the night, whenever I woke up from the sleep, I used to search him in my family gatherings, I longed to see his face in the stupidest places like in ladies restroom, or in my arms, or alongside me - ironically, I never found him though!



I might be …