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Our Last Goodbye!!

You were denying your love for me, again...
And I would have believed you,
Oh, I would have believed you like I did before,
When we talked for the first time and you told me,
Told me that you're not into anyone,
And you are not the kind of guy who falls for anyone,
I would have believed you so easily,
If I had never seen the dilation of your pupils every time you looked at me,
Or the way you blushed when I ogled you a little too long,
Or the way you stared at me when I was dancing,
Or how you looked away when I caught your glance,
You didn't just look away,
You smirked too, I saw it...
Or the way you always stood facing me,
No matter wherever we are, no matter how far we are,
Or the way you mirrored my expressions, my gestures, unknowingly...
Or the way you laughed a little longer at my every joke,
Even when it was the lamest, dumbest joke ever!!
Or the way you couldn't stand it when I talked to some other guy,
The way you got jealous, or insecure,
The way you bragged about how good I was looking,
Or how fine were my moves,
The way your eyes shined when you talked about me,
And mostly because when we talked for the first time,
Even though you told me you never loved anyone,
and you never will ever,
Yet you confessed that you looked for me too,
I wasn't alone in this,
That you knew I loved you,
And that I wasn't the only one...



I'd have believed in your lies,
This time too,
If I hadn't seen your truths...
And so when you told me that you don't love me,
And I am just being annoying and pushy,
And that I shouldn't have got too serious about you,
And that love is dumb and relationships are meaningless,
And that I should leave and never come back,
And that this is our last good bye,
Though I too bid our goodbye,
Though I too took a step backward,
Though I too accepted it,
That we are never getting back together,
Though I too deleted your messages, our photographs, our call log,
And I too pretended to move on, and letting go,
Yet I stayed,
Though It hurt me a lot, yet I decided to stay,
I didn't leave,
Because I knew you love me,
And I knew you will come back,
And I knew you will miss me too, miss us too...
And so I stayed...
I stayed for so many reasons,
But mostly because I loved you even more!!



I said my last goodbye to you,
I cried to sleep,
I cried in the morning,
I cried when I had breakfast,
I cried a lot,
Yet I stayed,
I knew you will come back,
I checked on you for a month,
quietly, without letting you know,
I gazed at your last seen on Whatsapp, every night,
I kept my eye on your 'Online now' on Messenger, all the time,
Yet I din't call,
I watched you talking to other girls,
And not caring 'How I was?'
Cut a little deep every time,
Albeit my heart bled all night, still I didn't complain,
I didn't annoy,
I didn't bother,
I waited for you to come back,
I waited for you to understand we were not ordinary,
And that I wasn't alone in this..



About that sleepless night,
When I was again struggling with Insomnia,
I read your comment on one of your friend's post, 'I miss you too',
I am not lying, love!!
I am not lying,
I did cry that night, again...
I cried bitterly,
Wondering my worth,
It had been a month,
And you were not back...
You said your last goodbye on 26th November,
And it was 6th January today,
I tried convincing me I was wrong,
And that I was actually alone,
And that you were probably right,
You never loved me,
I wasn't someone you were finding,
I wasn't someone special,
That night, even after I took my pills,
I still couldn't sleep,
And so I decided to read our old conversations again,
I was weeping silently,
Wetting my pillow by tears,
Reading each and every word you said,
Doubting where it went wrong,
Wishing you would come back,
I prayed to God,
If I was right,
And if my intentions were pure,
And my love for him was real,
Make him come back...
Make him come back...



It was 3:56 in the morning,
I put my phone aside,
Tried to sleep again,
Minutes passed,
I was still awake,
My phone notified,
I hoped it to be you,
I picked up my phone, unlocked it,
Opened the notification,
And didn't you prove me right?
Oh, didn't you prove me right, love?!
It was 4:12 a.m. now,
And It was you who texted me,
Texted, just a 'Hey!'
I laughed while I cried,
I doubted my sanity,
I typed anxiously,
"Decision you make after 2 a.m. are the wrong decisions!!"
'But you're up, right?!, you replied,
We talked for hours,
You told me you missed us too,
You told me you missed me too,
Oh, didn't you come back?!



You were back,
And I was so happy that night,
I didn't realize,
You have only come back to leave me again...
Because it wasn't enough for you to hurt me just once...
But at least you proved me right,
You were back!!
We were back!!
I never knew for how long,
And I didn't care about it either,
You were back,
And I was so happy!!
Years have passed,
And right now, when I am writing this down,
I am still crying,
Still praying to God,
I wish you come back,
I wish you realize we were not ordinary,
I wish you understand that you loved me too,
Just not the way I loved you,
But you loved me too,
I hope you come back,
Or at least bid me our last goodbye,
You didn't even say 'Goodbye' this time...
Where are you?!
Please come back!!?
Please come back?!


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