Skip to main content

When He Cheated On Me!

By
"I loved him so much, so earnestly, with all my being, and in return, he betrayed me, and left."



I still remember that day when I caught you cheating on me and instead of crying, I laughed hard. I laughed out loud with tears rolling down my cheeks so rapidly. I had gone insane that day, not because we were falling apart but because I had never, not even for a second, imagined you being disloyal to me, especially after five years of our happily beautiful relationship. It would have been really easy for me to be unfaithful to you when you were far away when we hardly talked, but I didn't, then how could you? How you did it so easily? Were the years we spend together, our moments, me, my love, that worthless? I laughed hard that day for wasting my time, my feelings, my love, my loyalty. But since then, I've cried in pain every night, every single night. It's like nothing has left, everything has vanished. I'm in utter nothingness. This loneliness is killing me inside and I'm hardly breathing and you know what still now when you've betrayed me for that random girl who hardly spent a week with you, I'm trying to convince me that you were not wrong. There would've been some misunderstandings that distance created between two of us and we lost it to the hands of misfortune because being together wasn't in our fate anymore. You would laugh reading this, thinking, how silly I'm to still think about you and regret - when I was not even wrong when it was not clearly my fault.

You know what I've never cursed you, nor the scars your love has gifted me. And I have prayed for you all this time, for you to be happy no matter what. I've always thought of all the circumstances that lead you to betray me. You were absolutely helpless that time, right? I'm sorry I didn't stay with you then, I should have stayed, I should have understood, I should have listened to you. But you should too know this, it was really hard for me, watching you wrapped up in her arms was unbearable. I still wonder how did I survive this shock, I must be so strong. And while I am writing this down, I'm crying bitterly, I'm hardly breathing. I couldn't tell anyone about it, no one can ever understand it, neither will you. Yet I am still writing it to tell you how much it has hurt me and how much it still hurts. I remember I had gone unconscious that day in your arms, in my betrayal's arms, and since then I have wished it every day that It would be better if I hadn't regained my consciousness. It'd be better for me to die right then because I'm still not alive. I laugh every day, I crack jokes and I try real;y hard to convince everyone that I'm fine but I am not. I swear I am not fine, not even close. 

I'm numb and I couldn't help it. I don't want to want you back and I really want to get over this feeling, to get over you, this trauma. I don't want to think about you every time. I don't want to cry every single night but neither is happening and I am helpless. Please do me a favor take all your memories with you and leave, or come back and kill me cause I'm done and I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't I swear.


"How a person allows himself to cheat someone who has loved him selflessly, I wonder. You must be so brave to be disloyal to your truest lover and still having no regrets."
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

She misses her father.

By
Dad, you taught me to play. You taught me to play with all those little dolls, Stuffed animals, electronic trains, toy robots, You taught me to hold the bat, and hit the ball, You taught me how to handle the rackets, And how to play badminton or table tennis, You made me able to play and won all those different games. When I was the littlest of me, a toddler, You taught me to sit, to stand, to crawl, to walk, and to run You saw me learning to speak, laugh, smile, You witness me getting older and older with every passing day, And you were my mentor for all of this. My first day of school, then college, university, And finally, my first day on the job. You were proud, you were the happiest, And my biggest inspiration, my teacher, my best advisor, You saw me achieving it bit by bit and you were there. You were there to pick me up every time I fall, And support me, and encourage me every time I fail, You taught me how to handle tears when I am down, And how to laugh
Post a Comment
Read more

You are her escape.

By
Every time she is a little too sad inside, she comes to you. She comes to you running, walking, crawling, the least she has the strength the fastest she comes to you. Every time, when someone very dear to her betrayed her, cheated on her, or left her in the worldly chaos to fight alone, and to wonder if she is strong enough to get over the hurt that beloved has caused her, she gathers her courage, and recollect all the torn pieces of her heart, hopes, and trust, and she comes to you. And that time, when someone who was the dearest to her, died, she didn't say a word, she laughed hysterically, she grieved in silence and came to you. She prayed for his peace in the hereafter and stayed patient. When everyone around her was crying, screaming, complaining about the loss she had gone through, she remained calm, she asked everyone to be strong, and she quietly whispered to you to make it easy for all of them, and that she believes that whatever you did must be the right thing to do, s
Post a Comment
Read more

How to be happy?

By
Once was very happy. The same girl cries a lot now. Who did this to her? They say, she killed her happiness. Why would she? She is crazy. What drove her crazy? She did this to herself. Weird, she seems stupid. Yes, she does. But why? Who knows. Once she was known as the happiest-go-luckiest girl. Her teacher was tired of her always laughing. Annoyingly he'd say, you don't care where you sit, you will always laugh, right? Happily, she'd say, yes, sir! I am always happy. I make my own happiness. How? they'd ask. Just like this! She'd shrug. It was easy for her to be happy. Her classmates called her "Kittenish". Who laughs the most, cries the most too, they'd tell her. Nah, I won't. Proudly she'd say. Believing in her fate, in her God, in herself. I'll always laugh like this. Then she fell in love. With this calm, great guy, I must say. He was so beautiful. She used to think about him all the time. He had this infectious smile and chameleon ey
Post a Comment
Read more